Posted: May 27, 2012 in Uncategorized


MORE THAN ONE correspondent has expressed a keen desire to see the historical essays published here of late in the form of a book. It is flattering to see so much interest, and it is also very encouraging, since, as Dr. Boli has already mentioned, the book is in preparation, and will be published later this year under the title Dr. Boli’s Complete and Utter History of the World.

Although the book is not ready yet, there can be no harm in releasing this preliminary table of contents, which will serve to keep hope alive in the breasts of those readers whose patience is sorely tried by waiting a few months for the release of the volume they anticipate with such fervor.

A few more chapters from the book will be published here, so that, from the part, readers will be able to form a fair judgment of the whole.

Dr. Boli’s Complete and Utter History of the World.

1. From the Creation of the Universe to the Dawn of Civilization

2. The Definition and Character of Civilization

3. The Ancient Egyptians, Furnishing and Decorating the Afterlife Since 3150 B.C.

4. The Less Marketable Ancient Civilizations

5. The Israelites Discover Monotheism and Spend Most of the Rest of Their History Trying to Back Out of It

6. The Ancient Greeks Live the Examined Life

7. The Ancient Greeks Invent History

8. Alexander Runs Out of Worlds to Conquer

9. While Rome Conquers the World, Greece Conquers Rome

10. Christianity Ruins Everything

11. The Roman Empire Declines and Falls for 1500 Years Straight

12. Barbarians Everywhere

13. Nothing Happens in the Dark Ages

14. Charlemagne Turns On the Lights

15. The Middle Ages Mistakenly Think Themselves Modern

16. France Invades England; or, England Invades France

17. Europe Pushes the Reset Button

18. The Reformation Eliminates Evil from the World

19. Europeans Discover America; Americans Discover Europeans

20. It Turns Out That the Reformation Left Some Unfinished Business

21. Europe Discovers That the Rest of the World Is Just Sitting There

22. France, England, Spain, Holland, Sweden, Russia, Denmark, and Liechtenstein in North America

23. The French and Indian War Is a Pretty Big Deal

24. Liberty and/or Death

25. So the French Think They Can Have a Revolution, Too

26. Napoleon, the Most Successful Failure in History

27. Americans Throw Their Weight Around

28. Europe Has a Bunch of Revolutions and Stuff

29. Americans Debate the Slavery Question Rather Noisily

30. The North Prospers; the South Gets Reconstructed

31. Suddenly, There’s This Thing Called “Germany”

32. It Looks as Though Africa Might Be Profitable After All

33. Labor Malcontents with Their Unreasonable Demands Ruin Things for the Rest of Us

34. The First World War Is Impossible to Explain

35. The October Revolution Is Delayed Till November

36. The Great Depression Breeds a Snobbishly Thrifty Generation

37. The Second World War Is a Lot Easier to Explain Than the First

38. The Cold War Is Good for Business

39. History Comes to an End

40. Actually, Ignore the Title of the Previous Chapter

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on May 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm  Comments (7)  

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